The day the music died

I grew up with music…surrounded by it, immersed in it…I would go to sleep with a cassette playing on my tape recorder and wake up to the sound of music. I played with it in the background, danced to it, cried with it, laughed with it, sang along with it. Music filled me. More than that, it was almost a tangible part of me – like my heart, or coursing through my veins mixed with my blood.

During my formative years, my music choices were influenced by my parents. Musicians like Perry Como and Tina Charles ruled in our house, as did old hindi film music and ghazals by Jagjit and Chitra Singh. During my rebellious teens, I rocked Bon Jovi and Pink Floyd, fell in love with Madonna and Michel Jackson, and sashayed to Right Said Fred. As those erratic hormones loosened their hold over me, I learnt to appreciate the classical notes of Beethoven and Mozart, Yanni and Kenny G.

These days, music’s all about rap and hip hop, which I don’t dig that much, and somehow, it’s losing it’s tangibility. It’s now something I listen to while driving the car and occasionally at work, when I want to tune out the rest of the office and focus on what’s in front of me. Or for a few hours when I have the house to myself.

This loss of tangibility isn’t all about me. It’s also because the husband and I have very different musical tastes, and different listening styles. I like music to envelop the air around me, fill the house with it’s melodious strains. The husband prefers to get lost in his own private world with his music, blaring it straight into his ears through his headphones. It’s been difficult, almost impossible, to get these two worlds to meet.

On the few occasions when I’ve tried to initiate him to music my way, it’s ended in dissatisfaction. He turns the sound down until it’s little over being background noise – I mean, who listens to Another One Bites the Dust with the volume turned down? That song is meant to be blasted through the speakers. I like listening to each song on an album in full and in sequence. He listens to a bit of the song, then suddenly remembers another great track on the album and skips to it. This back and forth continues, leaving me unfulfilled….unable to immerse myself in the music.

And so I’ve given up on him coming over to my side, and sadly on music. Listening to it on headphones isn’t anything like listening to it on a music system, with the volume turned up, the thump of the drum underlining your heartbeat, the strains of the piano taking you through a whole range of emotions in one magical piece.

Sadly, the music has…not died, just faded away. Leaving me unmoored, if you will. Adrift in the sea of life without my constant companion.

Posted in Soulful living, Stories and tagged , .


  1. Music was heavily apart of my life during my teen and college years, but over the years, and since the cd player died in my car, I’ve lost that motivation to just sit back and listen… I guess it’s kind of died in me too :/

    • It’s sad when that happens, isn’t it? I’m trying to reclaim some time for music, but sadly, it isn’t too often that I have the time to turn it up and listen like I used to back in college.

  2. Darlin, you must be looking in the wrong places. The radio is just a mix of shallow tunes for people with a surface elevel appreciation for music. There are a few good ones still out there, though. You just don’t hear about them as much.

    • LOL! The radio in my car hasn’t been working since a while now! I mostly find new music on TV, but then again, it’s rare to find something really good. Where do you find new music?

  3. I have a similar history with music and I’m still holding on tightly to it. I’ll use the moments when my husband is out or busy with other things to turn mine up and enjoy it like I used to. I still do miss my teenage days of just laying in my room, listening to music and really paying attention to the lyrics. That used to be so relaxing.

  4. I’ve never been a person to just listen to music, I have to be doing something while listening. But music makies life fuller and has become a bigger part of my life as I’ve gotten older. I love cranking it up while I’m driving or doing chores. It helps me stay at the computer when I’m writing and my mind starts to wander to the chores that need to be done.

    Thanks for sharing that we all have different ways to experience music and the importance of giving our family members the space to be unique!

    • I used to be someone who could just lay on the bed and let the music wash over me. But now, I find myself listening to it mainly while driving. We all have different styles of listening to music, something I learned from the husband!

  5. I never listen to music. I have ADHD and find that it distracts me. Plus after raising two children (I homeschooled so they were home all the time) who talked constantly, I really love the quiet. I don’t have the radio or the tv on. I love silence. But I can see how your situation would be discouraging for you.

    Visiting from SITS.

    • Thanks for dropping by Patty. I can understand how music or noise of any kind would be distracting for you. If I had children talking constantly around me, I’m sure all I would want would be some peace and quiet too!

  6. Music is a medium of expression for me. It’s common for one song to resonate with me at a certain time and I will listen to it on repeat. I could tell my whole life story in songs. I love it.

  7. I hope you find ways to bring music back into your life. I believe it’s healing for the soul. I have a bunch of different playlists: angry, strength, relaxing, happy, for singing with, spiritual. Sometimes, when I can’t process my emotions, musis can help me through. To find the understanding I was missing.

    And you’re right, Another One Bites the Dust must be played loud!

    Thanks for sharing.

  8. I never listen to mainstream radio, just not my thing, but I find new music at , I love sampling independent artists I’ve never heard of and finding new favourites. It’s also how I discovered a band that I interviewed for my blog, and when I found out who their influences are I listened to those ones too… I find once I start browsing one leads to another and I keep finding new sounds.
    Hope you find ways to bring more music back to your life! Thanks for visiting my blog, I’m enjoying having a look around yours too 🙂

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