I wish someone told me…

I wish someone told me…
That the sun and moon wouldn’t really rise with his smile
That life isn’t really a dream that you dream with the one you love
That just believing I could wouldn’t help me to fly
That a hero doesn’t always lie in me, there is a coward lurking in there too…

This post is dedicated to those incurable romantics, who believe the songs and the movies and the books…who believe that what is sung and shown and written is literal…and are heartbroken when they realize that it isn’t.

Come on! How can you think that love would be so all-consuming that it would seem like a utopian dream from which you’d never wake up, or that just a smile from the person you love would light up your life, never mind their words and their actions? If it really was like that, life would be so exhausting! You wouldn’t be able to get anything done, because you’d just be melting into the other person. Not to mention that you would lose your identity – lose YOU. And seriously, that isn’t healthy. A relationship requires hard work. There are nasty fights and heartbreaks along the way. If you’re going to breakdown at the first sign of disagreement you’re going to be a mess!

Replace that narrative with this empowering thought:

Couples that are meant to be together

Can you really be so naive as to believe that just thinking is going to attract what you want into your life? Really now! The Secret may be great and all, but it’s very simplistic. Thoughts turn into things, sure, but it’s not magic. A lot of hard work goes on behind the scenes. You cannot just think yourself into a new job, for instance. You need to create or update your CV, send it out to multiple people, attend interviews, and only then might you find yourself with a job. And given the economy in most parts of the world, that isn’t even guaranteed! What thoughts do is help you focus on what you want, and give you the necessary inspiration to put in the hard work required to “attract” it into your life.

Replace that narrative with this empowering piece of advice, given to me by my teacher at school:

Luck is 99 percent perspiration and 1 percent inspiration

Do you believe that you will eventually find the hero within you? That you can always rise to every challenge thrown at you? That you can face anything and everything that comes your way? Listen to the lyrics carefully – all of them. To those lovely lyrics, I’d like to add this: It takes a great deal of courage… and before you can find the hero within you, you have to confront the coward lurking in you. Your fears and anxieties. You need to calm that coward down and reason with it. At times, you just have to downright ignore it. That is hard. Very hard. To listen to the fears and insecurities and go ahead anyway. Not everyone can do it all of the time and in all circumstances. And that’s OK, too. Instead, learn your limitations. Work on what you can, accept what you cannot, and take your decisions accordingly.

Replace the thought of always wanting to be the hero and beating yourself up when you aren’t with this little gem:

I'm strong becauseI've been weak

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

The prompt brought to mind my role as agony aunt with a friend who believes everything you tell her – literally – including these things I’ve listed above! If this helps you or someone you know, if you agree with the thoughts I’ve shared here, please feel free to share this post with your friends.

Now, it’s your turn. What do you wish someone had told you?

Posted in Soulful living and tagged , , , , , , .


  1. Nice post. As a former teacher, my students were frequently complaining about homework with the phrase, “That’s not fair.” I wonder who ever told them that life would be fair. Justice often gets overruled by ignorance and other demons.

  2. Wonderful post! I’ve always believed life isn’t supposed to be fair; you just have to keep going and accomplishing as much as you can on “your journey”. This “Earth School” can be hard! 🙂

  3. I really love that first image about relationships. My fiance and I have been together for 7 years and every time one of our friends asks how we did it, we always reply that we have both hurt each other so badly in the past and instead of leaving each other, we identified the problems we had and worked on them. We didn’t let anything break us, and we’re stronger because of it, and because we chose to forgive each other and admit that we had problems. This post is great!

    • True, honest communication is the key to long-lasting relationships. It’s easy to let your differences tear you apart, but no relationship is without it’s problems. If you can’t work on them in one relationship, chances are you’ll run at the first signs of trouble in your second relationship as well. Congratulations on working your problems out, and here’s wishing you many, many years more of togetherness.

  4. I totally agree with this. My relationship with my boyfriend in college taught me something I’ve believe for the rest of my life: If you can get along while you’re fighting, you have a healthy relationship worth working for. I know it sounds weird, but some of our best moments were during disagreement.

  5. Pingback: What are you attracting? « Positively Branded

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