I’m curled up on my favorite spot on the sofa. Legs up on the ottoman, laptop balanced on my knees. As I look through my old posts, at some saved drafts for blog post ideas, I realize I’ve let fear paralyze me. Fear of being not good enough, of my voice not being powerful enough. Fear of what people will think if I post this or that. Fear of being inadequate to the expectations I set for myself. So. Much. FEAR.
I remember when blogging used to be fun! A time when I didn’t really care about what anyone thought about me. When I didn’t imagine that I would be judged by that nameless, faceless, formless someone out in cyberspace for my thoughts and ideas and beliefs.
While I have never been trolled (thank the Internet Gods!), just reading about the trolls and their vicious bile made me run away and hide. Even though I very rarely write on troll-worthy subjects – and even when I do, I am saved from trolls – I still let them bully me into being quiet.
Well, I don’t really want to be quiet any more. I want to express. To write about the things that move me. About my many and constantly changing interests. I may not become consistent overnight, and I won’t always come up with a masterpiece, and that’s alright. I just want to let the words flow again. Send my thoughts out to cyberspace, knowing they will reach the people who they are meant to reach. To write for the sheer joy of expressing an idea, a thought, a brief moment in time. To. Just. Write.
And trust that everything will be OK.