Revealed: what women really want!

“I don’t understand what women want!” a male colleague wailed the other day.

To which another one shared this handy photo he had received on what’s app

Come on guys! We aren’t that hard to understand!

I mean, if you are running late for a dinner date, just hold up a bunch of pretty flowers and make puppy dog eyes. Our hearts will melt, we’ll give you a big hug, and then drag you to the bedroom….so you can help us figure out if we should wear the black dress or the red one. And what about accessories, which ear rings look better with this? The pearls, or the diamonds? Oh, and did we show you that gorgeous diamond ring we fell in love with online?

Huh, what do you mean by why are we angry that you kept us waiting if we aren’t even ready yet? If you were here on time, we’d just be fashionably late. But now, thanks to your tardiness, we are obscenely late!

Let me give you another tip about how easy it is to understand us. When we are having an IMPORTANT conversation and you keep getting distracted by Facebook, it is the most annoying thing ever! Focus on the conversation for heaven’s sake. Don’t hem and haw when we are asking you something!

What do you mean by double standards? We can check Facebook, cook dinner, handle work emails and talk to you all at the same time. Women are excellent multi-taskers, unlike men, or don’t you know that yet?

Oh and this is the one that you must remember – always: there’s no right answer to “baby, does this dress make me look fat?” It’s a trick question, designed so we can guilt trip you into taking us for a shop till you drop outing.

Not too hard to understand, considering you think a microwave is an excellent birthday gift! This is how we get to go out and buy the gift we secretly wanted. We thought you knew too, considering all the hints we dropped! So imagine our surprise, nay shock, when we saw that damn microwave! And then you wonder why we say that men never listen to what we say!

You don’t need a silly, complicated maths problem to understand us!

You just need to have some empathy, mixed with a healthy dash of listening to us, a couple of spoonfuls of gallantry, and a cup full of patience. Easy-peasy!

Disclaimer: not all cliches could make it into this post. I made sure that none of the ones that were left out are upset. 

P.S.: Women really don’t think like this. And most men inform their dates when they are running late, listen to what women are saying with complete attention, and get her exactly the gift that she wanted! But seriously, women do not think like this. We are just more evolved, you see!

Final disclaimer: In my defense, this is my first lame attempt at humor and was written at 12:30 am under pressure of a deadline. So, you know, no offense and all that.

It’s International Women’s Week & if you’ve written a post about being a woman or a special lady in your life , link it up here & experience this charm.


Posted in Opinion pieces and tagged , , , .

35 Comments

  1. Actually it is so simple. I wonder why men make such a big deal about it? They just need to listen and understand.

    PS: I loved this and you say its your first attempt at humor!

  2. Sigh. Whats the fuss really πŸ˜› Jini your humour is more real than any joke shared on whatsapp πŸ˜›

  3. This was amusing- honest. Especially as my then-boyfriend’s first birthday gift to me was a blender. True. We’ve been married for 42 years so no hard feelings!

    • So now my super power is making people dance with my words πŸ˜‰ And yes, it is an infuriating forward!

  4. This was fun. Love the tone and humour. You nailed it! Yes, men are constantly mystified by us and our ways, aren’t they? A fun read and good advice for men to take, if they would only listen which probably won’t happen.

    • Thank you! I was quite nervous about this one, mostly because I tend to be a lot more serious when it comes to women’s issues! Glad you enjoyed the post!

  5. Not all cliches made it to this list, she says!! So evil… Our hair turns gray just responding to this first series. I’m going to assume there will be a second series but for now, this is enough for me to start making notes and planning escape avenues when faced with them in real life.

    • hahahhah! Hmmm, let me talk to some of the other cliches and see if they want to gang up on unsuspecting men! πŸ˜‰

  6. I never take the whatsapp forwards or sexist jokes too seriously .. Women love pink , women gossip , women are always late and the worst .. Women are bad drivers !

    Humour like it is for you is my best defence too .. Though I am more like a sarcasm person out of the two of us .

    I find these ideas amusing coz they just show how men are too lazy to really interpret the obvious ( the ones who assume all this about us) well too bad for them ..

    Thankfully the ones around us are getting ‘ educated ‘ on the go and that’s why who rules the world ? Girls !!

    PS: first times are always special especially when they turn out so good

    PS1: some people work best under pressure

    PS2 : I love the idea of using a series of PS and yet some more disclaimers πŸ˜‰

    • I don’t take them too seriously either, or I’d be in a constant state of outrage! In fact, I’d say most whatsapp forwards are lazy and shouldn’t be taken seriously at all, but we both know how seriously some of them are taken! I thought the PS and disclaimers were a fun touch – glad that came across too πŸ˜‰

  7. I think it’s more of a tradition it has become. All the jokes and memes are circulated around women only for no actual reason!
    Loved reading the post πŸ™‚

    Cheers
    Geets

    • Yes, that is quite true – the number of jokes on women are unending. It does tend to get annoying, doesn’t it? Glad you enjoyed the post! πŸ™‚

  8. Wow! I really enjoyed reading this. There are so many memes and jokes going around about being a woman that I really get annoyed. I loved you have included these things that happen in our daily lives in this post.

    • Yes, all the memes on women are quite annoying. It almost seems like anywhere you turn, there’s a meme on women! Glad you enjoyed the post. πŸ™‚

  9. hahahaha this is hilarious πŸ˜€ I have had this discussion with the guys in my group so many times πŸ˜› They call that ‘does this make me look fat’ question as the TRAP question. It’s funny sometimes when they have this look of utter astonishment on how to figure out what women wants πŸ˜›

    • Oh yes, “does this make me look fat” really has no right answer, does it? I really wonder why men have such a hard time understanding women!!

  10. Loved the tone of this and you crack it! It might be your first attempt at humour but you are a natural πŸ™‚
    And yes women are more evolved, I hope the men can reach that level and understand that what we want is actually quite simple!

    • Oh, thank you Aditi! That is very sweet of you to say!!
      I’m waiting for the day when men can be even half as evolved as us! πŸ˜‰

  11. People tend to want the same things – to be listened too, valued and treated well. It’s not complicated, but it seems to be difficult for many to understand. Thank you for the chuckle

    • Yes, that’s very true! We all want the same things – yet, men love to say they don’t understand women! πŸ˜‰

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