“I don’t understand what women want!” a male colleague wailed the other day.
Come on guys! We aren’t that hard to understand!
I mean, if you are running late for a dinner date, just hold up a bunch of pretty flowers and make puppy dog eyes. Our hearts will melt, we’ll give you a big hug, and then drag you to the bedroom….so you can help us figure out if we should wear the black dress or the red one. And what about accessories, which ear rings look better with this? The pearls, or the diamonds? Oh, and did we show you that gorgeous diamond ring we fell in love with online?
Huh, what do you mean by why are we angry that you kept us waiting if we aren’t even ready yet? If you were here on time, we’d just be fashionably late. But now, thanks to your tardiness, we are obscenely late!
Let me give you another tip about how easy it is to understand us. When we are having an IMPORTANT conversation and you keep getting distracted by Facebook, it is the most annoying thing ever! Focus on the conversation for heaven’s sake. Don’t hem and haw when we are asking you something!
What do you mean by double standards? We can check Facebook, cook dinner, handle work emails and talk to you all at the same time. Women are excellent multi-taskers, unlike men, or don’t you know that yet?
Oh and this is the one that you must remember – always: there’s no right answer to “baby, does this dress make me look fat?” It’s a trick question, designed so we can guilt trip you into taking us for a shop till you drop outing.
Not too hard to understand, considering you think a microwave is an excellent birthday gift! This is how we get to go out and buy the gift we secretly wanted. We thought you knew too, considering all the hints we dropped! So imagine our surprise, nay shock, when we saw that damn microwave! And then you wonder why we say that men never listen to what we say!
You don’t need a silly, complicated maths problem to understand us!
You just need to have some empathy, mixed with a healthy dash of listening to us, a couple of spoonfuls of gallantry, and a cup full of patience. Easy-peasy!
Disclaimer: not all cliches could make it into this post. I made sure that none of the ones that were left out are upset.
P.S.: Women really don’t think like this. And most men inform their dates when they are running late, listen to what women are saying with complete attention, and get her exactly the gift that she wanted! But seriously, women do not think like this. We are just more evolved, you see!
Final disclaimer: In my defense, this is my first lame attempt at humor and was written at 12:30 am under pressure of a deadline. So, you know, no offense and all that.
It’s International Women’s Week & if you’ve written a post about being a woman or a special lady in your life , link it up here & experience this charm.