Slowly but surely, I seem to be becoming a hermit.
This is a cycle that repeats itself every couple of years. I start turning into this person who goes to work and runs back home and doesn’t want to step out again. I think of meeting friends, running errands, going shopping or walking, but it seems like too much to do. I’m happy pottering around the house – writing, painting, journaling, doing some inner work.
Sometimes I realize that it’s just the stress getting to me. In those cases, it’s rather easy for me to snap out of hermit mode. At other times, it takes me a while to realize what is happening.
Why, you ask? Because I am an introvert – and as an introvert, I love my solitude. Being around too many people for too long saps my energy, so I’m perfectly content with my hermit life.
But I also know that an overdose of hermit energy is not a good thing.
No man {or introverted woman} is an island, after all! We need to maintain a balance between becoming hermits and exploring the world, or we run the risk of plunging into despair.Even my trusty Tarot tells me the shadow side of the hermit card indicates a period of excessive isolation, which though spiritually helpful, can leave you feeling isolated. It also indicates a time when you become so inwardly focused that you end up shutting out family and friends.
The solution: be a social hermit.
I know just how hard it can be sometimes, but you just have to make the effort! I experienced this first hand last week, when I went to Delhi Haat to meet a good friend. The usual sights and sounds greeted me as soon as I entered the complex – hawkers selling their wares, ladies applying mehendi, groups of friends milling around, and a street play in progress. And I felt, suddenly, as though a heavy cloak of stagnant energy had fallen off my shoulders and dissipated into the ground.
I immediately felt a shift in my hermit energy, so I know I’ll be able to snap out of this cycle again. It doesn’t mean that I suddenly become an extrovert – no, nothing dramatic like that. It just means that I’m able to overcome my propensity of living as a hermit and being more social, which is a very good thing!
Have you ever felt like you’re becoming a hermit? Or are you a happy extrovert with no such problems? I’d love to hear your stories in the comments!
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I am a happy extrovert with a very specific checklist for the people I like to spend time with.If they don’t fit the checklist I can’t do it.It takes too much energy .I absolutely love Delhi Haat.The 3 years I did my residency at Safdrajung Hospital ,it was the most colourful place to unwind every week.I have fond memories of the Food stalls there?
Delhi Haat is fun. I especially love the Maharashtra stall. I have to have the sabudana khitchdi there – reminds me of home. 🙂
I am an ambivert (I read this somewhere on net in an article). The recent time shave seen me being more of an introvert. I run back from work and like to spend time in writing and other stuff than steppong out. Feels weird but good. Somewhere I want to avoid all interactions which previously I used to love. I know the reason ,and like every other analysis of my life that I am going right now , this drastic change is one.
Ya Ramya, I love doing that too! Run home, read, write, paint. I feel like I have to much to do at home that I tend to ignore the external world. Ambivert – can do both, is it? Will have to read about this. 🙂
Is this something to do with the weather? Sometimes I too feel like retreating into myself, enjoying the cup of coffee alone rather than with pointless banter. And come springtime I’m back to chirping like a sparrow.
It’s not really weather related – although in the height of summer and peak of winter it’s a chore to step out! I seem to have so much to keep me happy at home that I don’t feel like stepping out, weird as that sounds!
I think this phase is essential, provided it doesn’t happen too often nor lasts for too long 🙂
It’s lovely how you’ve explained The Hermit card so well, citing your own example.Loved reading this.
Thank you Mayuri! I also finally saw the pattern more clearly this year. Although I do tend to let it last too long. Then I start to push myself out of the house once I realize just how long it’s been!!
I go through periods of being a social hermit as well. I hope you enjoy your quiet time. It can be quite refreshing to take a break from extra socialization for a while for those of us who are introverts.
Absolutely Lydia! Socializing can be so draining sometimes.
I’m more an extrovert, but I loved the use of the Tarot card.
Thanks! It helps bring a much deeper perspective I think!
For the longest time, I think I have been a hermit. It is something I break out of occasionally, but inevitably I find myself falling back into this phase you describe. And yes, it can result in acute moments of pain with the realization of loneliness.
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Oh, then you should try to break out more often! Often we don’t realize when we’ve pushed being alone too far. It’s quite a fine balance to maintain, I think.
I think I’m a hermit internally because What you just described is what I love doing. I love ny solitude and find meeting people draining. I think I’m the quintessential introvert who would love to be a hermit all the time ?
I know what you mean! It’s so hard to go out and about, even though I do enjoy myself once I make the effort. Of course I’m drained by the time I’m back – but it’s important!
I am a Hermit Jini! in true sense, can’t be with too many people around. Sollitude makes me happy, to sit in a pplace and do things I love in my own pace is what I love. Though I do go out and try being with people, I keep tp myself most of the time…Do I qualify for the Hermit!
Absolutely Menaka! 😉
I’m a happy mix of both, I feel. I love the usual routine, but I don’t become completely opposed to the idea of going out and interacting either. There are times when I prefer my own company, to read and to write. But I love meeting friends and interacting with them when we meet up, or call them just to ramble on!
Lucky you! I don’t like talking on the phone too much, when I’m tired I screen calls, and though I enjoy meeting up with friends, sometimes I find it hard to do!
In my true sense I am hermit, as I have realised so many things in this world are not true in real sense (my spiritual being is talking)
I regularly have this phase of coming from hospital and just sit and read and not want to go out, but whenever I switch myself into the extrovert mode, than most of the time I always try to be most energetic person in the room.
Wow! I’m so amazed to see so many people who identify with being a hermit! I’m happy to know I’m not the only one!!
Yes. Because solitude is the state where a person finds himself and able to reflect.
Absolutely!!
This is so interesting. I’m definitely an introvert. I love going out for coffees and walks and out to eat with one person. Group settings are so not my thing. That being said, I don’t mind being a hermit with my husband in the sense that we love hanging out in the basement watching TV at night. 🙂
Group settings overwhelm me too! I don’t mind it occasionally, but generally prefer to be out with one or two friends at a time.
I am an introvert.. love your idea of being a social hermit.. I think I am a hermit within just acquaintances.. within friends,close relatives and strangers I am social… Strange but true… I get drained when the excitement among people is at its peak.. I become exhausted easily after few hours if socialising…
But I do rest and socialize alternative ly
That’s pretty much how introverts are. Around friends and family we are ok, but acquaintances and new people drain is out. In fact, after too much time around friend/family also I feel drained out, and need to recharge my batteries!
I really love the way you tune with your inner self.
Pottery, did I heard it to right?
I love pottery and coloring
Thanks Dixu! 🙂
Not pottery, though I think I would like to learn pottery at some time. You know how to use a potter’s wheel? That’s great!
I recently went back to work – three times a week – only because I was worried that I was becoming a recluse. Hermit sounds a little better.
I’m so glad I’m not the only one who feels this way! Sometimes I think there’s something wrong with me. I make plans and then cancel because I can’t bear the thought of stepping out of the house!
Oh yes I also go through this phase frequently and mostly when its stress. It becomes tough for people around you to figure out whats happening with you and that becomes the root cause for so many misunderstandings.
Yes, it does! Luckily my closest friends and family understand these phases – that’s really important!
I am basically an introvert but now changed little bit. Even I get these phases sometimes where I don’t want to talk to anybody or interact with anybody. But I think its important to be social as it helps us to stay young and happy. I am a changed person today but still get close only to the people I really like. 🙂
True Deepa, being social does help us to stay happy. Which is why I need to be more mindful of my hermit patterns and get out of it sooner, rather than happily living in my own little world! 🙂
I’m more of an introvert. Not a guy who loves to party and hang around with new people much. Though I like to make friends but it’s more of a connection I build first on social media or thru friend of a friend. Well, I like the idea of being a social hermit. It surely can make things better from an introvert’s perspective. 🙂
Yes, it does! Which is why I like social media. You can have friends and interact with people, and when it gets too much, you can just shut the laptop and go do your own thing. 😉