This is non-negotiable

1. My personal well-being: I’ve realized that when I am mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually well, I am in the best position to live my life to the fullest. This includes being my own best friend and loving myself unconditionally, even when I stumble and fall; replacing my inner critic with positive and encouraging self-talk; eating healthy and exercising, even if all I can manage is a 20 minute walk; time to connect with a higher power; and to meditate.

2. My self-respect: There may be times in my life when a friend or loved one walks all over my sense of self, damaging my self-respect under their hob-nailed boots. I’ve learnt it the hard way to never, ever, no matter what the circumstances, let anyone walk all over me or treat me like a doormat. My self-respect is the most important thing. Period.

3. A home that feels like me: Note, I didn’t say a magazine-perfect home. With all the amazing home interiors I see on Pinterest, in magazines and on blogs, it’s easy to look around my pad and hate everything about it. But when I stop and analyze, I realize that I love each object in my house – it all has a history, a story. It’s warm and welcoming and lived-in, which really isn’t something I can say for a lot of those picture perfect “white houses” I see online. If I’m able to keep my home clutter free for long periods of time, more power to me! I am open to change, to better my surrounding, but I refuse to give in to internet envy.

4. Allowing myself to dream big and DO big: There are no limits to imagination. I’ve found that it’s very important to allow myself to imagine a live that fills me with joy, and then go out and work towards achieving all that my heart desires! I may win some and lose some, but I know what I’m working towards and why. When something no longer resonates with me, I drop it, instead of living up to someone else’s idea of perfection. Since I am a procrastinator, I keep reminding myself that the only thing standing between my dreams and reality is action.

So, what’s non-negotiable for you? I’d love to hear from you in the comments!

The day the music died

I grew up with music…surrounded by it, immersed in it…I would go to sleep with a cassette playing on my tape recorder and wake up to the sound of music. I played with it in the background, danced to it, cried with it, laughed with it, sang along with it. Music filled me. More than that, it was almost a tangible part of me – like my heart, or coursing through my veins mixed with my blood.

During my formative years, my music choices were influenced by my parents. Musicians like Perry Como and Tina Charles ruled in our house, as did old hindi film music and ghazals by Jagjit and Chitra Singh. During my rebellious teens, I rocked Bon Jovi and Pink Floyd, fell in love with Madonna and Michel Jackson, and sashayed to Right Said Fred. As those erratic hormones loosened their hold over me, I learnt to appreciate the classical notes of Beethoven and Mozart, Yanni and Kenny G.

These days, music’s all about rap and hip hop, which I don’t dig that much, and somehow, it’s losing it’s tangibility. It’s now something I listen to while driving the car and occasionally at work, when I want to tune out the rest of the office and focus on what’s in front of me. Or for a few hours when I have the house to myself.

This loss of tangibility isn’t all about me. It’s also because the husband and I have very different musical tastes, and different listening styles. I like music to envelop the air around me, fill the house with it’s melodious strains. The husband prefers to get lost in his own private world with his music, blaring it straight into his ears through his headphones. It’s been difficult, almost impossible, to get these two worlds to meet.

On the few occasions when I’ve tried to initiate him to music my way, it’s ended in dissatisfaction. He turns the sound down until it’s little over being background noise – I mean, who listens to Another One Bites the Dust with the volume turned down? That song is meant to be blasted through the speakers. I like listening to each song on an album in full and in sequence. He listens to a bit of the song, then suddenly remembers another great track on the album and skips to it. This back and forth continues, leaving me unfulfilled….unable to immerse myself in the music.

And so I’ve given up on him coming over to my side, and sadly on music. Listening to it on headphones isn’t anything like listening to it on a music system, with the volume turned up, the thump of the drum underlining your heartbeat, the strains of the piano taking you through a whole range of emotions in one magical piece.

Sadly, the music has…not died, just faded away. Leaving me unmoored, if you will. Adrift in the sea of life without my constant companion.

Book review: Caught in Crystal – Patricia C. Wrede

I seem to be on a reading and reviewing roll lately. Here’s another interesting read for all you fantasy fiction buffs out there.
Caught in Crystal tells the story of Kayl, an inn keeper struggling to maintain her inn and raise to two children. Things seem normal until the arrival of Corrana, a member of the Sisterhood of Stars (a coven of witches). It turns out that Kayl was a member of the sisterhood too, but she left her position as one of the best fighters and strategists of the coven after a mission went horribly wrong. But now, the Sisterhood needs her to return to the Twisted Tower, bringing Kayl’s past crashing down around her.

The first half of the book traces Kayl’s journey back to Kith Alunel – the dangers on the road, flashbacks into the past, and her struggle to regain her fighting form and keep her children out of harm. Though interesting, it makes for very slow reading, because nothing really happens during this time. However, Patricia Wrede’s charecterization is quite good, making you plough through the pages because you want to know how things turn out for Kayl and her children.

It’s in the second half of the novel that things start to pick up. Kayl realizes that she has no option but to return to the Twisted Tower, and that no matter how hard she tries, her children will be involved in the mission. As they journey towards the Tower, we get a glimpse into the shadowy events of the first mission and the secrets and motivations driving the members of the circle. There’s magic and action, secrets unfolding, and the center of it all, the Twisted Tower and the sinister sorcery inside it.

Overall, then, the story is interesting and the charectors are likable. The plot, however, plods along in some places and zips through in others, making the pacing a bit uneven. The other bone I have to pick is with the setting – some places, like Kith Alunel are described well, but I couldn’t quite get a feel of the place she set this fantasy story in. This could be, in part, because Caught in Crystal is a series – its the fourth book in Patricia Wrede’s Lyra series. I wouldn’t call it a deal breaker, because even though I haven’t read any of the other books, I had no problem following the events in this one, which makes it perfect as a stand alone read.

Book review: The Devotion of Suspect X – Keigo Higashino

The Devotion of Suspect X is a brilliant crime thriller. But unlike most thrillers, in this one, the reader already knows who the murderer is. So then, what is its allure?

Ishigami is a brilliant mathematician, but due to certain family troubles he wasn’t able to follow his dream of becoming an academic. Instead, he earns his living as a high school maths teacher. Known in college as the Buddha, this highly logical and practical man finds himself head over heels in love with his neighbor Yasuko. When her ex-husband tracks her down yet again, her entire life is turned upside down. Things between them reach a head and she and her daughter end up murdering him. Hearing the scuffle and deducing what has happened, Ishigami comes to their rescue. His love for Yasuko pushes him to help the mother and daughter cover up the crime. But in all of his careful planning, he couldn’t have known one thing – that Yukawa, his classmate at the Imperial University, who is a brilliant physicist himself, often helps the lead detective Kusanagi in his investigations. When he hears about the case, he learns that the Buddha is the neighbor of the suspect. Since he hasn’t seen him since their university days, he goes over to meet an old friend and adversary. From that chance interaction, and with Kusanagi discussing aspects of the case with him, Yukawa gets pulled into the hunt for the killer.

Will Ishigami win this clash of wits or will Yukawa be able to pierce through his elaborately created smoke screen?

The characters are well drawn out and believable. Ishigami, as a maths professor, has a coldly calculating mind that helps him cover up the murder. Yukawa, as a brilliant physicist, is able to piece together various, seemingly disparate clues to come ever closer to the truth. Kusanagi, the detective, is caught between these two brilliant minds. Yasuko and her daughter are regular people caught up in events not of their choosing. How their stories play out, the untangling of the plot points, the development of the plot, all of it is brilliantly done.

Keigo Higashino has created a masterful, taunt plot. He’s thrown a lot of maths problems into the novel, but even if you, like me, hate maths, you won’t find that a turn off, nor will you find any of it hard to follow. Some of the problems, in fact, are rather philosophical in nature. And no matter how much you think you know, you won’t be able to guess the twist at the end of the story.

It’s a thrilling read, both for the sheer brilliance of Ishigami’s cover up and Yukawa’s search for the truth, and for the acute observational skills of both these adversaries. You find yourself caring deeply for the characters, hoping and praying that Yukawa will be unsuccessful in his search. Will he, though? That is something you will have to find out for yourself!

Already among the biggest selling Japanese thrillers ever and the inspiration for a cult film, The Devotion of Suspect X is a must read for any crime fiction buff.

Disclosure: I received a copy of this book to review but I was not financially compensated in any way. The opinions expressed are my own and are based on my observations while reading this novel.

5 tried and tested strategies to deal with stress

Here are five tried and tested ways to beat stress, calm your nerves and just relax.

Taj Spa at Taj Exotica, Goa (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

1) Make an appointment at your favorite spa for a relaxing head massage and wash, followed by a manicure and pedicure. There’s nothing as relaxing as just sitting back and giving yourself over to the magical fingers of your therapist as she massages the knots out of your shoulders. Bliss! Follow it up with a manicure and pedicure – apart from making you look like a million bucks, it will leave you feeling totally lucid. I promise.

2) Don’t have time for a leisurely spa treatment? Never mind. This next strategy takes just 5 minutes. Put on some soothing music (optional) and deep breathe. In and out. Watch your breath. Focus on it. If you start thinking of something else, gently bring your mind back to your breath. It will leave you feeling re-energized and filled with energy.

Central Park Bridges (view from Bridlepath looking southwest), Gothic Arch, Spanning bridlepath south of tennis courts at nort, New York City, New York County, NY (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

3) If action’s more to your liking, plug in your iPod and go for a walk – preferably in nature. There’s something calming about all that greenery.

4) If you find yourself unable to step out of the house try listening to some instrumental music. Classic overtures are excellent at taking us out of the humdrum of our daily lives and transporting us to a different state of being.

5) If all else fails, turn to the telly, more specifically, comedy. What’s your favorite funny movie of all time? Pop it into the DVD player and watch it. Mine is The Birdcage, by th way. No matter what my mood when i start watching that movie, 20 minutes in I’m laughing so hard my tummy hurts!

Now it’s your turn. What are your favorite stress busting strategies?

A pocket full of sunshine: Sunshine blog award!

I hopped over to my friend Ann’s blog recently (ok, last month – I’m lazy, what can I say?) and found to my delight that she was back blogging (yay girl!) and that she had given me a blog award! How cool is that?

Now, to accept this award, I need to answer a few questions about myself. So here goes!

1) Favorite color: When it comes to clothes, I have to say white – in a shop full of gorgeous colored kurtas, I unerringly find my way to the whites. They’re elegant and so cool during summer. Clothes apart, I like myself nice, bright colors – oranges, pinks, blues, yellows…Wait, you didn’t want one color, did you? 😉

2) Favorite animal: Cats! I currently have a young cat who adopted us about 2 years ago. She just walked onto the husband’s tennis court one fine day and from there she waltzed straight into our hearts. Isn’t she a beauty?

3) Favorite number: I hate math! And numbers, and addition, subtraction, multiplication..and algebra and geometry…enough said?

4) Favorite non-alcoholic beverage: Cappuccino and ice cold latte!

5) Facebook or Twitter: Facebook, definitely! Twitter kinda bores me.

6) My passion: Photography, art, writing, reading!

7) Getting or Giving Presents: I love to give presents. It’s fun to go hunting for the perfect gift for friends. But not for the husband – he hates surprises!! And Of course, I love reeciving gifts too!

8) Favorite pattern: Hmm…never really thought of that one. Does the unique patters you find in an ice cube count?

9) Favorite Day of the Week: Saturday! You still have Sunday to look forward to! 🙂

10) Favorite Flower: All of them! But my absolute favorite currently is orchids.

Finally, here are my nominations for this blog award.

IndieBerries

North On Harper

Epicurean Escapism

Enjoy!

Book review: The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society – Mary Ann Shaffer, Annie Barrows

Cover of "The Guernsey Literary and Potat...

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society - Cover via Amazon

I had been drawn to The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows a number of times on my frequent visits to the bookstore, but never did buy it. I recently borrowed it on the recommendation of a colleague, and I have to say that I was quite impressed!

The novel is based in London in 1946, after the end of World War II. The protagonist – Juliet Ashton – is a writer who has spent the war writing humorous columns for The Spectator. She receives a letter from Dawsey Adams, who lives in the island of Guernsey and who has, by chance, got her old copy of Charles Lamb’s essays. One letter leads to another and Juliet learns of the Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, which was established by chance during the war. Now, most book clubs are set up by people who love reading and discussing books – but not this one. It was set as a spur-of-the-moment invention by the resourceful Elizabeth McKenna, who offered it as an explanation to the Germans when she and a group of her friends were found to have broken the curfew.

Through her correspondence with Dawsey, Juliet learns about the troubles the islanders faced during the war. Encouraged by Dawsey, the rest of the book club members begin writing to Juliet to share their thoughts on books, the war, the deprivation and the daily struggle to survive. The second half of the book, when Juliet eventually makes her way to the island/s to gather material for a new, more serious, book brings out more of the plot and the eccentricities of the characters.

The most amazing part about the novel is that it is told entirely through the (fictional) correspondence between Juliet and various other people – the islanders; Sophie, her best friend and Sophie’s brother and Juliet’s publisher Sideny; and Mark V Reynolds, an American tycoon who falls in love with Juliet. Through those letters, Mary Ann Shaffer explores some of the darker aspects of the war, such as the cruelty and even humanity of some German soldiers, the moral dilemma that arose between people forced to try and survive alongside the enemy, and the horrors of the concentration camps. Those letters help to create characters that you come to love and understand – their shortcomings and motivations, their lives and loves, their passions and convictions.

Overall, this is a delightful novel – funny, moving and told in a very different manner.

Have you read this book? I’d love to hear what you thought of it!

How I rediscovered the zest for life

Since a while now, I’ve known that not everything was right with me. Somewhere along the way life dragged me down. I lost myself. Lost my zest for life. My days became practical, mechanical. The only thing I looked forward to was the weekend – Saturday, when I would meet up with friends and we’d go out about town and Sunday, when me and the husband would do things together. The rest of the time, I was on automatic pilot.

All that changed this week.

A fun interaction with a very close friend on Facebook turned into a more serious talk. She told me she had started avoiding meeting me because I had become too “practical”, had lost the magic that was me.

That one comment forced me to think – something that I had avoided doing even though I knew that things weren’t right. We inbox-ed one another furiously, and as she asked me questions that forced me to think, it made me want to cry – for all the time I had lost, for all that I wouldn’t acknowledge even to myself, for losing the magic.

She’s one friend with whom I can be 100% myself. She’s my mirror. So when she tells me something, I stop to listen and think. And I knew she was right.

We went out that night, and she turned the spotlight on me. Asking about my life (going on), what I feel (nothing much), how I feel about life (that it’s happening on auto-pilot).

Then she made me do something. She made me tell her 10 things I was grateful for and why. And as I spoke about my blessings, I felt a shift inside me. Slowly, the ice around my heart began to crack. As the night wore on and the conversation flowed, the crack spread and eventually began to chip off.

I feel much more positive already. More cheerful. More hopeful. And it was all due to that exercise, which I’ve been doing everyday since.

Try it.

I am grateful for ______ because ______. (x 10)

Nothing is too trivial to list out. If you think it is, imagine your life without it. Awesome perspective, eh?

Bonus tip: make a list of everything you love – and I mean everything. People, places, food, restaurants, movies, books, activities, plants, flowers, animals…you get the drift. Any time you feel negative (sad, angry, irritated) think of this list. It will lift you up immediately!

Here’s to a wonderful life!

What are you grateful for? If you’ve already experienced the power of gratitude, tell us about it in the comments!

Dubai Shopping Guide

This is a guest post by Ron Davis. Rob’s been blogging since 2010 and is working as a content writer for various blogs. He is currently working for Dubaishortstay.com, where you can find information about Dubai Hotels and Dubai Apartments.

Dubai has some of the most luxurious places on earth and is considered a shopper’s paradise for shopaholics. If you get a chance to visit Dubai, you must surely go back home with some of the things Dubai is most famous for!

Best Buys

Perfumes (ittar) – Ittar is a traditional method of perfume making. These scents are pleasant smell and are very cheap compared to branded perfumes.

Dates –Arabic dates have high demand all over the world. Specially recommended are the seedless Arabic dates, which are not only tasty but also good for your health. If you’re look for some healthy gifts for your family, buy a few boxes of bateel dates.

Carpets – Dubai is the best place to buy the finest and most beautiful carpets, which come in a variety of colors and sizes. Dubai rugs are made from pure wool, which gives a rich look and smoothness compared to other carpets. The price may vary according to the amount of wool in carpets.

Jewellery –Dubai is sometimes called the “City of Gold.” You can be assured of the purity of the precious metal, and snap up some exquisite pieces with a traditional design influence.

Dubai shopping festival

Dubai shopping festival is very famous all over the world. It takes places between January and February for about 30-40 days. The main intention is to boost retail trade in Dubai and to attract tourist from all parts of the world. It’s a good idea to buy products during the festival as most merchants offer attractive discounts. Moreover, you can enjoy tax free shopping during the festival.

The Dubai shopping festival plays an important role in tourism; the main intention of this festival is to entertain tourists and to lure potential investors to the country.

Best time to shop

Of course, during the festival! Shopping malls in Dubai are open from around 10 am to 10 pm (about 12 hours daily). Most markets are closed on Friday up to 2 pm, as it is a day of worship for Muslims.

I think the information provided here should give you a little insight into the shopping culture of Dubai. If I’ve left something out or if you have anything to say, please leave a comment below.

How to introspect

Introspection (Photo credit: gurdonark)

There are times when we over-think things. Like introspection, or self reflection. I know I’m guilty of it. I’ve spent hours reading up on the right way to introspect. Wondering what questions to ask myself. If I was even asking the right questions.

Then, one day, I decided to just stop thinking about this whole thing. I was tired of trawling through websites and looking at lists of questions to ask myself. Some as inane as: “What are your favorite things (books, movies, stores, etc.)? Why ?”

So I just put the whole introspection thingajammy behind me and concentrated on doing different things. Things I’ve been putting off since a while. Like reorganizing my craft room. And then suddenly, one day, I just….introspected. No muss. No fuss.

And I realized there is one and only one thing that was holding me back and making me overanalyze this whole introspection thing: fear.

I was afraid of what I would find. The person I would come face to face with in the mirror. Once I let my guard down, I found that it wasn’t so hard after all. And the person I saw wasn’t all that much of an ogre. She was normal, with her strong points and weak, successes and failures, areas of confidence and insecurities.

So, if you’re having trouble getting in touch with you, ask yourself: What are you afraid of finding? Chances are, you’re blowing your fears out of proportion.

I’m going to let you in on another secret: it isn’t even necessary for you to answer that question. Just acknowledge that you’re afraid and leave it at that. And one day, when you’re least expecting it, you’ll rediscover yourself.

Here’s to you!