1. My personal well-being: I’ve realized that when I am mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually well, I am in the best position to live my life to the fullest. This includes being my own best friend and loving myself unconditionally, even when I stumble and fall; replacing my inner critic with positive and encouraging self-talk; eating healthy and exercising, even if all I can manage is a 20 minute walk; time to connect with a higher power; and to meditate.
2. My self-respect: There may be times in my life when a friend or loved one walks all over my sense of self, damaging my self-respect under their hob-nailed boots. I’ve learnt it the hard way to never, ever, no matter what the circumstances, let anyone walk all over me or treat me like a doormat. My self-respect is the most important thing. Period.
3. A home that feels like me:Note, I didn’t say a magazine-perfect home. With all the amazing home interiors I see on Pinterest, in magazines and on blogs, it’s easy to look around my pad and hate everything about it. But when I stop and analyze, I realize that I love each object in my house – it all has a history, a story. It’s warm and welcoming and lived-in, which really isn’t something I can say for a lot of those picture perfect “white houses” I see online. If I’m able to keep my home clutter free for long periods of time, more power to me! I am open to change, to better my surrounding, but I refuse to give in to internet envy.
4. Allowing myself to dream big and DO big:There are no limits to imagination. I’ve found that it’s very important to allow myself to imagine a live that fills me with joy, and then go out and work towards achieving all that my heart desires! I may win some and lose some, but I know what I’m working towards and why. When something no longer resonates with me, I drop it, instead of living up to someone else’s idea of perfection. Since I am a procrastinator, I keep reminding myself that the only thing standing between my dreams and reality is action.
So, what’s non-negotiable for you? I’d love to hear from you in the comments!
Since a while now, I’ve known that not everything was right with me. Somewhere along the way life dragged me down. I lost myself. Lost my zest for life. My days became practical, mechanical. The only thing I looked forward to was the weekend – Saturday, when I would meet up with friends and we’d go out about town and Sunday, when me and the husband would do things together. The rest of the time, I was on automatic pilot.
All that changed this week.
A fun interaction with a very close friend on Facebook turned into a more serious talk. She told me she had started avoiding meeting me because I had become too “practical”, had lost the magic that was me.
That one comment forced me to think – something that I had avoided doing even though I knew that things weren’t right. We inbox-ed one another furiously, and as she asked me questions that forced me to think, it made me want to cry – for all the time I had lost, for all that I wouldn’t acknowledge even to myself, for losing the magic.
She’s one friend with whom I can be 100% myself. She’s my mirror. So when she tells me something, I stop to listen and think. And I knew she was right.
We went out that night, and she turned the spotlight on me. Asking about my life (going on), what I feel (nothing much), how I feel about life (that it’s happening on auto-pilot).
Then she made me do something. She made me tell her 10 things I was grateful for and why.And as I spoke about my blessings, I felt a shift inside me. Slowly, the ice around my heart began to crack. As the night wore on and the conversation flowed, the crack spread and eventually began to chip off.
I feel much more positive already. More cheerful. More hopeful. And it was all due to that exercise, which I’ve been doing everyday since.
Try it.
I am grateful for ______ because ______. (x 10)
Nothing is too trivial to list out. If you think it is, imagine your life without it. Awesome perspective, eh?
Bonus tip:make a list of everything you love – and I mean everything. People, places, food, restaurants, movies, books, activities, plants, flowers, animals…you get the drift. Any time you feel negative (sad, angry, irritated) think of this list. It will lift you up immediately!
Here’s to a wonderful life!
What are you grateful for? If you’ve already experienced the power of gratitude, tell us about it in the comments!
There are times when we over-think things. Like introspection, or self reflection. I know I’m guilty of it. I’ve spent hours reading up on the right way to introspect. Wondering what questions to ask myself. If I was even asking the right questions.
Then, one day, I decided to just stop thinking about this whole thing. I was tired of trawling through websites and looking at lists of questions to ask myself. Some as inane as: “What are your favorite things (books, movies, stores, etc.)? Why ?”
So I just put the whole introspection thingajammy behind me and concentrated on doing different things. Things I’ve been putting off since a while. Like reorganizing my craft room. And then suddenly, one day, I just….introspected. No muss. No fuss.
And I realized there is one and only one thing that was holding me back and making me overanalyze this whole introspection thing: fear.
I was afraid of what I would find. The person I would come face to face with in the mirror. Once I let my guard down, I found that it wasn’t so hard after all. And the person I saw wasn’t all that much of an ogre. She was normal, with her strong points and weak, successes and failures, areas of confidence and insecurities.
So, if you’re having trouble getting in touch with you, ask yourself: What are you afraid of finding? Chances are, you’re blowing your fears out of proportion.
I’m going to let you in on another secret: it isn’t even necessary for you to answer that question. Just acknowledge that you’re afraid and leave it at that. And one day, when you’re least expecting it, you’ll rediscover yourself.
Tons of ideas. Zero motivation. Image by orkboi via Flickr
This is the first post of this year. Almost a month into 2012. Over a month after my previous post.
After spending most of 2010 posting four times a week, week after week, I kinda dried out in 2011. I didn’t run out of ideas. I ran out of steam. Out of motivation.
That was my story for 2011. Not just for my blog – for my life. I slowed down. Despite myself. Notwithstanding all my good intentions. I just didn’t have the will to do anything. But I want to change that.
The world is going to end in 2012, or so the Mayans said. I don’t believe that means the doom and gloom that Hollywood would have us believe. It means the end of a cycle. And the end of a cycle heralds the beginning of a new one. So this year, I intend to start anew. To begin afresh.
Investing in me. Image via Flickr
I’m not in a hurry. I want to do things slow – and get them right. So I’m going to take my time. To analyze the year that was. To examine where I am and determine where I want to be. To plan. To take one step, and then another and another. To start the journey. Because that’s what’s important. The destination will come. Or it won’t.
What’s important is moving forward. Learning. Growing. Challenging yourself. Being fresh.
As I analyze, learn, and grow, I will share some of my insights with you, my wonderful readers. So if you find yourself stuck in a rut, or in need of some motivation, stay tuned. The best way to keep up with posts – through my RSS feed.
If you’ve been stuck in a rut and broken free – do share your advice in the comments. I’m on the lookout for all the help and inspiration I can find!
Here’s a formula to start your week on a good note:
Make peace with your past. If there is anything you’re holding on to from the past week (or even the past year or earlier), release it. Put the baggage down. Lighten your load. Allow yourself to move forward. Forgive others who you think may have slighted you. Forgive yourself too. Breathe in light, love and peace. Breathe out stress, hurt and pain. Give thanks for each moment. Welcome new experiences and joys into your life. Take a few moments and visualize your perfect week. If that’s too far ahead for you, image your perfect day. Smile.
If you’ve ever tried to learn something new, achieve a goal, set a resolution, you’ve been met with failure somewhere along the way. Hopefully it isn’t too often. Hopefully you’ve managed to pull yourself up, dust yourself off, and go on to achieve greater heights, like these individuals, who never said never.
As season 5 of Dexter draws to a close and I get Dexter withdrawal symptoms, I thought I’d pen down the 4 things I learnt from my favorite serial killer.
Plan: Dexter followed a code when it came to choosing targets for his dark passenger. Once he zeroed in on his victim, he did some thorough planning and surveillance to plan the kill.
Translated to real life: Once you’ve got a goal in mind, do some planning, and draw up some tips and strategies to ensure that you don’t get derailed. For e.g., if you decide to go on a diet, do some research on meal plans, purchase the right foods, draw up weekly menus and prepare as much as you can beforehand.
Focus: When Dexter is on the prowl, he has his eye firmly on the target. So much so that his dates are planned around stalking schedules. It’s all about focus until he has his victim on the kill table and disposes of the body.
Translated to real life:When you want to achieve something, you got to schedule time to devote to the goal each and every day. Some days may be busy, when you may be able to spend just about 10 minutes on working towards your goal. Other days you might be able to devote a couple of hours. No matter how much time you have on hand, constant steps – big or small – will help you achieve your target. For e.g., diet and exercise go hand in hand. If you can’t devote an hour to the gym everyday, try going for a 30 minute (or even two 15 minute) walk on the days you can’t hit the gym.
Image via Wikipedia
Cover all bases: Dexter had all his bases covered when he was out for a kill. A strong alibi, ensuring he got his target without being seen, cleaning up the kill room and disposing the body in the Gulf stream.
Translated to real life: No matter what our grandiose plans or how much we prepare, life happens. Be prepared to get derailed occasionally, but then get right back on to it! Again, taking the example of the diet, if you indulge in a sinful chocolate pastry one day, don’t beat yourself up or just give up. Go back to your plan the next day and keep on working on it with single-minded devotion. Better still, throw out all the foods that are not on your “allowed” list. so you don’t get tempted.
Constant check-in: Dexter’s constant companion and voice of caution was his adoptive father, Harry. Whenever he seemed to deviate from the path, his father appeared to offer words of advise and steer him back on course.
Translated to real life: Involve one or two people who are close to you and will support you in achieving your dreams. Schedule a check-in at least once a week, when you give them an update on your progress and discuss any road blocks you might be encountering. It’s always easier to go for goal when you have your very own cheerleaders encouraging you along!
Answering the questions I posed last week would have helped you identify your current “big dreams.” These aren’t the next logical steps if you continue the way you are, but are the things that make your heart sing. There is something deeply satisfying about having a dream list that is close to your heart because it helps you peel back the layers and discover what you really want in your life.
Image by Squirmelia via Flickr
Bring out your paper now and read what you wrote down. Slowly. Listen to your feelings as you reach each sentence. If you feel excited, feel your heart fluttering, you’re on the right track. The things that leave you wondering why you wrote what you wrote may not be what you really want to do, but what you think you should do. Cross those off right away.
If you’re truthful with yourself, you’ve had those things on your to-do list since a while and have gotten nowhere with them. You also use that list to beat yourself up about being an under-achiever. So, do yourself a favour and just. let. them. go. really. You’ll feel better. I promise. Unless you’ve written something like take (insert health condition here) medication on time everyday and are about to cross that off. Come on! You should know better, right?
Anyhoo! Now that you’ve got your dream list ready, here’s what you gotta do.
Image via Wikipedia
Go through each section and for each, create one or two goals that really compel and excite you when you think about them from the material you wrote.
Then, write one goal at the top of a page, with a separate page for each goal. Set a timer for two minutes and write down why you want to achieve this goal.
Once you’ve done that, create a compelling argument to yourself on why you must do achieve this goal. If you can’t create a compelling argument that makes you ache to achieve the goal, you may need to choose a different one. After all, if you can’t convince yourself in an argument, you won’t have the drive to complete the goal!
Image by angietorres via Flickr
For each goal, write down three small steps you can take now that will help you achieve your goals. Initially, these will typically be “discovery” steps that will help you get more information about how to go about achieving your goal. If one of your goals is to learn a language or photography, one of your first steps might involve identifying classes that you can enrol for. Make sure that you aren’t setting yourself a huge target, take baby steps.
The key is to commit to something that you really, really want to do. Even if you can spend just one day a month working on that goal, it will change how you think and dramatically improve your life. Promise.
Image via Wikipedia
As you finish a step, cross it off your list. Doesn’t it make you feel great? For every step you cross off, add a new one. Rinse and repeat until you (gasp!) are well on your way to achieving your goal! Crossing off and adding new to-dos helps you keep your momentum going and gives you confidence in your own ability to achieve your dreams.
But what if the number of goals you’ve set yourself has you in overwhelm mode? Prioritize. How? Look at each goal and each argument, read it out loud if you need to, with feeling, and ask yourself if not achieving any of these would leave you with a hole in your heart or filled with regrets. The ones that will are the ones that you should pick up on priority. Easy-peasy!
Another thing that can lead to a slight sense of deflation is the knowledge that it may take you years to achieve some of your goals. But it is important to understand and accept this, and to press on anyway. After all, it’s the journey that matters. And just think of how proud you’ll feel every time you work towards it, and when you finally achieve it!
Also, if possible, enlist the help of family or friends to hold you accountable, someone with whom you can check in say once a month. Your accountability group will be your personal cheer leaders, help you brainstorm if you come up against a wall, give you a little (or a big) push if you find yourself getting complacent, and will totally rock your world when you achieve your dream!
There you have it – the blueprint to (finding and) achieving your most authentic dreams.
I woke up this morning with the gentle rays of the sun streaming in through the blinds on my windows. I rolled over in bed, hugged my arms to my chest, and let out a contented breath. Getting out of bed, I walked into my bright, sunny bathroom, done up in shades of white and blue. A spray of summer blossoms sat on the windowsill in an old ceramic mug, a collection of seashells and pebbles was heaped on one side of the marble bathtub, the other holding my collection of colorful bath salts and toiletries. I walked over to the little dressing room adjoining the bathroom while brushing away the stale smell of sleep from my mouth and got out my clothes for the day – a pair of rugged jeans and a white t-shirt – perfect for a day to be spent out and about with my trusted camera and sketchbook.
Once I was ready, I padded into the kitchen, had a hot cup of tea and some fruit, packed a sandwich in a brown baggie, collected my gear and headed out.
Image via Wikipedia
Welcome to my dream world, where I am a successful artist, photographer and writer, with a beautiful house in a small, beautiful community located very close to a bustling town. It’s a place where all the neighbors know each other and where I have some of my deepest and most lasting friendships. When I’m not busy with the constant demands of success – book signings, gallery openings and exhibitions, you’ll find me in the kitchen whipping up some tasty, exotic dishes or traveling the world and telling my stories through words and images.
I don’t know about the house, but I do know that if I put my mind to it, I can achieve my dream of being a photographer and artist – a writer I am already – I write this blog, don’t it? 😉
So, if you could live your biggest dream, no holds barred, what would it be?
A while back I wrote about reclaiming a dream – a small dream it was, of having flowers in the living room at home. Of saying no, I wouldn’t just let my dreams die like that. But just saying no isn’t enough. You have to know what your dreams, and which dreams you are most passionate about. Not each item on your bucket list is as important as the others. While we may not mind letting go of some goals, not achieving others would fill us with regret and sadness.
The best way to determine what’s most important for you is to undertake a goal setting activity. If you already have a process you use and love, go for it. If not, carve out some time for yourself to sit down and evaluate each area of your life – career, home, health, spirituality, finances, relationships – and determine what are the things that you’re truly passionate about.
I identified the following areas of my life that I wanted to work on:
Learning/leisure
Soulfulness
Creativity
Health
Finances
Here are some of the questions I asked myself in each of these areas:
Image by nebbsen via Flickr
learning/leisure
What would you like to learn to do? It has to be something that really makes you excited. How would you learn – online, sign up for a class, etc.?
Where would you like to travel? Could be places in your own city or country, or abroad?
What would you like to do more of?
– read more?
– redecorate the house or office?
– get out of the house more?
soulfulness
What are your mediation goals? Every day? Every week? How much time will you set aside for it?
How can you live more soulfully – with more balance, less stress?
What do you need to do to feel that you have made a difference in your life?
creativity
Image by nimbu via Flickr
Which creative areas are you interested in – cooking, home decorating, photography, painting, etc.?
If money were no object, but you had to work, what would you be doing?
Do you have an idea or a dream you’d like to be living?
If you could live another person’s life (living or dead) who would it be, and why?
health/physical
What are your weight loss goals?
– How much weight do you want to lose?
– How much exercise would you be willing to commit to each week?
– What changes can you realistically make to your diet?
financial
Image via Wikipedia
What are your financial goals in terms of your needs and desires. For example, you might want to have enough money to pay your rent without stress, buy or lease a new car every four years, etc.
If you feel stress about money, what could you do right now to feel more in control?
Do you have any bad money habits? Like impulsive shopping? What are your triggers? Think of ways you can stop yourself.
putting it together
Use these questions as a starting point to reflect on what you want to achieve in these areas. These don’t have to be one sentence answers. They can be as long as you need them to be. Feel free to add on or leave questions you don’t like, or to hunt online for other goal setting exercises. But do work on writing down something.
Once you’re done, keep the paper safely away. Stepping away from your answers for a while will help you to know if you really connect with what you’ve written when you see them with a fresh mind.
Come back next week, when we’ll refine our dreams if we need to and draw up an action plan to achieve them!
1. My personal well-being: I’ve realized that when I am mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually well, I am in the best position to live my life to the fullest. This includes being my own best friend and loving myself unconditionally, even when I stumble and fall; replacing my inner critic with positive and encouraging self-talk; eating healthy and exercising, even if all I can manage is a 20 minute walk; time to connect with a higher power; and to meditate.
