For someone who has generally enjoyed good health, these last few years haven’t been kind. Ever since I developed a dust and pollen allergy, I’ve fallen sick with almost clockwork regularity.
Every winter, when the Delhi pollution hits new highs, I spend a few days at least battling my allergies. I’m convinced that this also weighs on my immunity, because I’ve been ill more often in the last few years than ever before.
Or is it the stress that’s doing me in? While I’m lucky to have a job that isn’t as demanding as what I’ve seen as the norm in the Knowledge industry, it does have its own challenges and periods of intense stress. After all, stress isn’t only about the number of hours you put into work – there’s so much more that contributes to it.
Added to it is this creative impulse, which has me in a frenzy of painting, creating, learning, doing. And while this part of it is immensely satisfying and healing, there’s an inner conflict too: I want to spend the rest of my life with the leisure and the means to spend entire days painting. But I also need to work (for one, I need the discipline!).
Maybe all of this has finally conspired to give me some forced rest from everything – work, painting, writing – all of it. I’ve been assailed by a mystery bug since the last week. All my test results are clear, but I’m weak, feverish, lethargic. Sitting for long periods isn’t possible. I can’t paint for too long either. I can read for a while, and then I must rest.
Maybe a reset is needed at this time. Deep rest. Back to the basics of remembering this animal of a body and its needs; stripping things back to their core. What’s most important. What’s irrelevant. What’s the icing on the cake. Stripping everything that isn’t important away. Focusing only on what absolutely must be done to make my life meaningful. Letting all other ideas and trappings just fall away.
For today, just this stream of consciousness writing is cathartic. It’s something I generally do by hand, in a journal, and is for my eyes only. But I have no strength for that, and for some reason I wanted to document it here. Because that’s what my blog was always about – my journey. The highs and lows of my life that I can refer back to again. And somewhere along the way, I just let that slip. Which maybe wasn’t such a bright idea after all. I’m going to bring some of the personal back. This is my space, my corner, my world into which I invite you. And while I want it to be warm and comforting and inspiring and creative, I also want it to be authentic. And that won’t happen if I edit myself and my struggles out, will it?
So hello. Welcome! There’s a ton of warmth and inspiration and creative sparks for you to find. Make yourself comfortable and look around for something you like. Because right now, I’m taking some time out to rest and recuperate so I can be more upbeat and welcoming the next time you visit.
Before you go wandering around though, tell me your news. What’s up with you? What’s happening in your world? Let’s chat, shall we?