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Four things I learnt from Dexter

List of Dexter characters

Image via Wikipedia

As season 5 of Dexter draws to a close and I get Dexter withdrawal symptoms, I thought I’d pen down the 4 things I learnt from my favorite serial killer.

Plan: Dexter followed a code when it came to choosing targets for his dark passenger. Once he zeroed in on his victim, he did some thorough planning and surveillance to plan the kill.

Translated to real life: Once you’ve got a goal in mind, do some planning, and draw up some tips and strategies to ensure that you don’t get derailed. For e.g., if you decide to go on a diet, do some research on meal plans, purchase the right foods, draw up weekly menus and prepare as much as you can beforehand.

Focus: When Dexter is on the prowl, he has his eye firmly on the target. So much so that his dates are planned around stalking schedules. It’s all about focus until he has his victim on the kill table and disposes of the body.

Translated to real life: When you want to achieve something, you got to schedule time to devote to the goal each and every day. Some days may be busy, when you may be able to spend just about 10 minutes on working towards your goal. Other days you might be able to devote a couple of hours. No matter how much time you have on hand, constant steps – big or small – will help you achieve your target. For e.g., diet and exercise go hand in hand. If you can’t devote an hour to the gym everyday, try going for a 30 minute (or even two 15 minute) walk on the days you can’t hit the gym.

Dexter Morgan

Image via Wikipedia

Cover all bases: Dexter had all his bases covered when he was out for a kill. A strong alibi, ensuring he got his target without being seen, cleaning up the kill room and disposing the body in the Gulf stream.

Translated to real life: No matter what our grandiose plans or how much we prepare, life happens. Be prepared to get derailed occasionally, but then get right back on to it! Again, taking the example of the diet, if you indulge in a sinful chocolate pastry one day, don’t beat yourself up or just give up. Go back to your plan the next day and keep on working on it with single-minded devotion. Better still, throw out all the foods that are not on your “allowed” list. so you don’t get tempted.

Constant check-in: Dexter’s constant companion and voice of caution was his adoptive father, Harry. Whenever he seemed to deviate from the path, his father appeared to offer words of advise and steer him back on course.

Translated to real life: Involve one or two people who are close to you and will support you in achieving  your dreams. Schedule a check-in at least once a week, when you give them an update on your progress and discuss any road blocks you might be encountering. It’s always easier to go for goal when you have your very own cheerleaders encouraging you along!

Now, I wonder when Season 6 will air in India!

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Calling: Motivation

I don’t know what’s come over me these days. While planning out my day at work, I also write up a list of to-dos that need to be done after work, but once I leave office, I think “Hell with it all. I’m just going home.” And kiss the to-dos goodbye. It’s not like I have anything pressing to do at home, either. Nor do I go home and get cracking on things that can be done around the house. Interesting stuff too, mind. Like experimenting with photography. Learning the tarot. Cleaning up my art table so I can make some art.

Instead, I go home, change into my sweats, and play Bubble Explode on my iPhone like my life depended on it. That game is evil, I tell you! It has me totally obsessed.

Seriously though, I don’t like this change that has crept upon me. And for the life of me, I can’t figure out why I have zero motivation. I know myself well enough to know it’s more than sheer laziness (not to say I’m not lazy, but I’m not this lazy!) So, what is it?

A lot of the things on my to-do list are related to long-term goals – like going for a walk and cooking evening supper minus carbs (to lose weight), doing 1 chapter from Learn the Tarot (to, of course, learn how to read the cards), clean the art table (so I can start creating art once again).

I know from experience that long-term goals can change sometimes, so the first thing I asked myself was if I still cared enough about said goals. I do!

Since it wasn’t as simple as sheer boredom with my goals, I knew I needed to dig deeper. Time to bring out a notebook and a steaming cup of tea.

Goal Setting

Image by angietorres via Flickr

I listed each goal on a separate page, then wrote the words “I’m afraid I won’t be able to achieve this because” underneath, and without stopping to think or analyze, I wrote down all the thoughts that came to mind. For e.g., under the goal of losing weight, one of the things I listed out was that since working out regularly for 6 months gave me no tangible results, I was destined to stay overweight.

Once I had repeated the exercise for all three goals, I went back and confronted my demons head-on. To counter the fear of never being able to shed the excess weight, I checked my food diary from when I was exercising. Based on Gary Taube’s book Why We Get Fat and What To Do About It, I now see that I was eating too many carbs and hidden sugars back then. So it is worth my while to try out a course correction in my diet combined with a moderate workout to help me achieve my goal of slow, steady and permanent weight loss.

Finally, I asked myself if there were any other thought patterns that were pulling me back and keeping me de-motivated. Surprisingly, I found that I am actually overwhelming myself by over-thinking things. Take going for a walk, for instance. How hard is that? Not hard at all, right? Now, start thinking and imagining these steps – fight through traffic to get home, keep purse in its designated place, drink some water, maybe have a fruit, change into tracks and tee, find socks and wear running shoes, lock the house, go for a 30-45 min walk, come home, shower, change into sweats…Doesn’t the very thought of the entire process overwhelm you?

Note to self: Do NOT break down a simple walk into a thousand steps ‘cause it does not help! Instead, just think get home, go for walk. See, that’s so simple!

What about you? Ever felt like you were lacking motivation? What did you do to overcome it?

Resolving to keep resolutions – 4-month check-in

New year resolutions — don’t we all have them? Mine were:

With the start of the fifth month of this year, I thought it would be a good time to do a check in. I’ve been a great one for making and breaking resolutions really quick, but this year, I chose them with care, ’cause these are things that really mean something to me.

Checking in:

Find a creative outlet – This isn’t going all that great, unfortunately. I did put eye to lens recently, but not nearly often enough. I also picked up on my altered books after a really, really long break…but work pressures can really put a crimp on creative juices. But, there are 10 months still to go this year — I hope to be able to devote more time to pursuing my creativity this year.

Never stop learning – This one’s easy-peasy to keep up with! I’m constantly learning new stuff at work — be it industry-related or inter-personal/managerial skills. Plus, I read a lot, so be it a “pulp fiction” book like Michelle Moran’s Nefertiti or literary fiction like Milan Kundera’s Immortality, there’s a lot to learn about ancient cultures and philosophy.

Stay in touch with friends – As usual, this one’s really lagging, badly. It’s not like I don’t want to keep in touch, but more like not being able to find enough time! 🙁

Lose weight and get fit – I’ve been working on this since the beginning of the year, I’m proud to report! Knowing how much I can procrastinate, this is a HUGE achievement. First, I had a personal trainer coming in thrice a week, but I wasn’t too happy with the results (which were zero!) At the start of this month, I joined the gym, finally! Had a one-to-one session with a trainer there, and I was thrilled with him! He was really upbeat and motivating, seemed to understand my concerns, and best of all, told me my goals were very achievable! I have a second session with him on Saturday, when he will give me an excercise and diet plan. Fingers crossed that everything works out this time. The signs, so far, are good! 🙂

Live, laugh, love more – Isn’t that a beautiful thought to live with? Every day, I’m trying…that’s the best that can be done with this one!

So in the final analysis, looks like some things are going great, some not too well, and one’s almost getting broken. But, hang in there resolution! I’m gonna save you still!!