Build up your self-control

It turns out that our capacity for self-control is surprisingly like a muscle — like a bicep or tricep. And like any muscle, self-control can vary in its strength, not only from person to person, but from moment to moment. Spend all day dealing with distractions, hassles and stressors at work, and it’s awfully hard to summon up the willpower to resist the allure of the cocktail, the cigarette or the fully-loaded nacho platter. – The Relationship Between Exercise And Self Control by Heidi Grant Halvorson

That simple paragraph was a Eureka moment for me. I’m finally in a job where I get to reach home around 6:00 pm, giving me ample time to pursue other interests. I’ve been wanting to get back to exercising, learn Italian and the tarot – and now I have more than enough time to do all of these things.

But I’ve lacked the motivation. I’ve been unable to exert any kind of willpower or self-control over my slothful ways.

I reach home and I feel exhausted, I don’t want to do anything or go anywhere – unless it’s out for dinner or drinks with friends.

Everyday I’ve been telling myself that I’m over-thinking things…that before even sitting down or doing anything else once I’m home, I should change into tracks and go for a walk. It. Does. Not. Work.

Then I figured it’s probably best that I finish my workout before I get home – which means join a gym and get in a workout on my way back from work. It took me an incalculably long time to get around to going and finding out about the membership, taking a trial session, and finally joining.

Italian and the tarot – I look at the books and download podcasts, but don’t read or listen.

So that little paragraph up there just hit me. Hard. It was the exhaustion on some days and sheer boredom on others that was translating into this total lack of will power on my part.

The great news is that if you want more self-control in general, you can get more. And you get more self-control the same way you get bigger muscles: you’ve got to give it regular workouts.

So how do you do this? By making yourself do something you don’t much like doing, each and every day. Within a few weeks, not only would you have built up your will power, you’ll be much better at other tasks where you need to exert some self-control.

There’s actual science behind this.

In a study, psychologists Megan Oaten and Ken Cheng gave participants a free gym membership and individually-tailored exercise programs that included aerobics, free-weights and resistance training. After exercising regularly over the course of two months, the participants had not only increased their ability to do a variety of laboratory self-control tasks, but also reported that almost every aspect of their lives that involved using some self-control seemed to have improved dramatically.

Cool, isn’t it?

So, what are you going to work on to improve your self-control muscle?

Me? I’m exercising regularly!

Happy father's day, daddy!

My father…he’s been my inspiration, my ideal…the man I can count on no matter what. He’s the one I run to when I’m hurt or happy, when I have a secret to share or need advice. He’s the one who will sit with me patiently, explaining whatever it was that I want to know. He allows me to use my judgement, to make mistakes and learn from them. He’s always there to hold my hand, to steer my course, to lend a shoulder, a word, a kiss.

So today when I browsed through PostSecret, I was saddened by the number of people who posted secrets saying they either were not in touch with their fathers or wished they had a different father. Whose fathers loved them less or were not a part of their lives.

Until I saw this secret:

Me too!

I love you, mom and dad.

And daddy, Happy Father’s Day! You’re still the one who can heal my hurt with a hug and a kiss…I love you!

Friday Frame #18: All in a row

This week’s frame is one of my own photographs – in fact, one of my first experiments in manual focusing!

(More Friday Frames)

If you have any artwork or photography to share, please leave a comment, a link back to your blog and your e-mail address, and I’ll feature it on an upcoming Friday Frame!

There's something to be said about the smell of a book

Isn’t there? Though this may be the age of e-readers and e-books, which take up less space and enable you to have your library with you where ever you go, somehow, nothing beats the experience of reading a physical book. It’s weight. It’s smell. It’s heft. The sound of a page turning in the middle of the night. Of underlining passages. Scribbling notes in the margins. Displaying your collection on a bookshelf. Until it overflows. Spills over from the shelves. Having them piled up near your bed. On the coffee table. In the kitchen. Everywhere you look – a tantalizing cover looking back at you. Whispering its secrets into your ear.

Yes, there’s something to be said for a physical book.

I say this after reading e-books. Despite reading e-books. Which reminds me, I have to download one recommended by The Huffington Post. It’s free, it’s fast, it will travel all over the world with me.

But I will still enter bookstores. And walk out with a bag full of books under my arms.

Because…

There’s something to be said about the smell of a book…

Life = Risk

If you’ve ever tried to learn something new, achieve a goal, set a resolution, you’ve been met with failure somewhere along the way. Hopefully it isn’t too often. Hopefully you’ve managed to pull yourself up, dust yourself off, and go on to achieve greater heights, like these individuals, who never said never.

Don’t lose heart. You can do it!

(Click to read older Spiritual Sunday posts)

iPhone 3GS vs Nokia E7 – 1/3

Yes, you read that heading right! I recently had a chance to play around with the new Nokia E7, and some of its features compared to the iPhone really blew me! I still heart my iPhone, but if something’s good, it’s good, right?

First off, the E7 is a pretty refined phone, with a form factor that’s quite similar to the N8. Being the latest in Nokia’s impressive array of Communicator series phones (come on, admit it – there was a time you loved that phone!), the materials and build quality are excellent. But I’m sure you can find many hardware and software reviews online – what I’m going to focus on are the three features that I loved on this phone.

Image by Nokia RSA via Flickr

The first is the tilt-out display and physical keyboard. Though it takes a while to figure out how to slide open the phone, once you get a hang of it, the hinge mechanism feels really solid. No matter how much you fidget with it, you’re unlikely to spoil it. The angle between the phone and keyboard is perfect for typing, as well as for watching videos. The keypad is laid out like a standard computer keyboard with a separate numerical pad, making messaging and emailing a breeze.

But choose your location carefully. Flick it open in a crowded coffee shop and you’re sure to get some attention, as I found out when I decided to type up a blog post on the phone. It’s not easy to get work done when you have people looking over at your table and nudging each other, or coming over and quizzing you about the phone, wanting to try it out hands-on! But then, that really isn’t a cause for complaint, is it?

So, what makes it any different from an iPhone? Though the virtual keypad on the iPhone is easy to use, there are times when you mis-type spellings and sometimes the auto correct is quite annoying. Using the E7’s keypad is similar to trying on the laptop, and the pleasure derived from that is surely unbeatable.

What sets this phone apart from the BlackBerry and other QWERTY phones on the market – screen size, baby! The E7 boasts a 4” AMOLED screen with vivid colors, which makes viewing web pages, videos and camera images a pleasure. But that’s another feature and another post.

Stay tuned!

What's on your playlist?

When I was in school, I used to have music playing in my room all day long. I woke up to music, read to music, slept to music. Fast forward to working life, and now my music listening time has shrunk. Considerably.

Now, I drive to music, walk to music and listen to some (sometimes) when I get back home.

These are my three current favorites – songs that I can listen to on repeat All Day Long.

Need you now – Lady Antebellum: I love the raw emotion of wanting someone back so bad!

Pretty pretty please – Pink:– So relevant, given how obsessed we are with the size zero phenomenon. Greatlyrics too!

Boogie man – AC/DC: So peppy! The best-est song to drive to!

So, what’s on repeat on your playlist?

Four things I learnt from Dexter

Image via Wikipedia

As season 5 of Dexter draws to a close and I get Dexter withdrawal symptoms, I thought I’d pen down the 4 things I learnt from my favorite serial killer.

Plan: Dexter followed a code when it came to choosing targets for his dark passenger. Once he zeroed in on his victim, he did some thorough planning and surveillance to plan the kill.

Translated to real life: Once you’ve got a goal in mind, do some planning, and draw up some tips and strategies to ensure that you don’t get derailed. For e.g., if you decide to go on a diet, do some research on meal plans, purchase the right foods, draw up weekly menus and prepare as much as you can beforehand.

Focus: When Dexter is on the prowl, he has his eye firmly on the target. So much so that his dates are planned around stalking schedules. It’s all about focus until he has his victim on the kill table and disposes of the body.

Translated to real life: When you want to achieve something, you got to schedule time to devote to the goal each and every day. Some days may be busy, when you may be able to spend just about 10 minutes on working towards your goal. Other days you might be able to devote a couple of hours. No matter how much time you have on hand, constant steps – big or small – will help you achieve your target. For e.g., diet and exercise go hand in hand. If you can’t devote an hour to the gym everyday, try going for a 30 minute (or even two 15 minute) walk on the days you can’t hit the gym.

Image via Wikipedia

Cover all bases: Dexter had all his bases covered when he was out for a kill. A strong alibi, ensuring he got his target without being seen, cleaning up the kill room and disposing the body in the Gulf stream.

Translated to real life: No matter what our grandiose plans or how much we prepare, life happens. Be prepared to get derailed occasionally, but then get right back on to it! Again, taking the example of the diet, if you indulge in a sinful chocolate pastry one day, don’t beat yourself up or just give up. Go back to your plan the next day and keep on working on it with single-minded devotion. Better still, throw out all the foods that are not on your “allowed” list. so you don’t get tempted.

Constant check-in: Dexter’s constant companion and voice of caution was his adoptive father, Harry. Whenever he seemed to deviate from the path, his father appeared to offer words of advise and steer him back on course.

Translated to real life: Involve one or two people who are close to you and will support you in achieving your dreams. Schedule a check-in at least once a week, when you give them an update on your progress and discuss any road blocks you might be encountering. It’s always easier to go for goal when you have your very own cheerleaders encouraging you along!

Now, I wonder when Season 6 will air in India!

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Book review: The Passage by Justin Cronin

Cover of Rose Madder

If there is one thing I cannot resist it is the lure of the printed word. Never has it happened that I have visited a bookstore and walked out empty handed. The last time I entered into one, I walked out with four books in tow, one of which was The Passage by Justin Cronin. Before buying the book I went through some reviews on Amazon, read the back cover a million times, read a few pages of the book to see if I liked the writing style. I kept the book back, wandered around in search of another book, and then came back and picked it up again, oh, about a gazillion times! Why? Because this isn’t the kind of book I typically read. The comparisons with Stephen King left me cold – I liked just two of his books – Carrie and Rose Madder; I’m not a big fan of science fiction, medical research gone bad, zombies and vampires. So I had no idea why I ended up buying this book.

Once I returned home and crammed it onto my overflowing bookshelf, I would often look at it balefully, asking myself what I was thinking to have bought it. So when I decided to read the darn thing and get it over with, I thought the going would be slow, the book intolerable, and maybe it would be another of those very few books that I would be forced to leave unread.

But I was wrong. So very, very wrong.

The first part of the novel gallops full speed ahead, outlining the discovery and creation of an immunity-boosting drug based on a virus carried by a species of bat in South America, its test on 12 death-row subjects and finally on a six-year old girl called Amy, all of whom are brought in by FBI agents Brad Wolgost and Phil Doyle. The virus turns the 12 into vampires, who manage to break out of the maximum security facility where they are kept and the world as we know it changes forever. (If this plot line makes you think of Resident Evil, it’s a bit similar, but only a bit.)

Cover of The Passage

Fast forward about 90 years, and you’re introduced to an entirely new cast of characters. These are the inhabitants of First Colony, who appear to be the only humans to have survived the outbreak of the vampire attack. Governed by the Document of One Law that lays out the daily routine and work assignments of all the souls within the walls of the colony, they have no contact with the outside world and stave off the virals (vampires) with the help of lights running on wind energy and members of the Watch, who guard the walls of the colony. They use horses for transport, grow their own food and scavenge the malls for clothes. It’s a completely different world, and one that is extremely believable.

A lot of reviews I read when deciding weather or not to purchase the book said that the jump between centuries was disorienting, that it took really long to settle in to the new characters, and that it was almost like reading two different books – I experienced nothing of the sort. The transition between the times is made through “A journal entry by Ida Jaxon (“The Book of Auntie”)” in which she chronicles how the army evacuated children from Philadelphia to First Colony, which prepares you for the time switch.

Amy makes her entry once again about mid-way through the novel, and from thereon the book takes another twist, as some members from First Colony embark on a journey to escort her back to Colorado to the hospital where she was injected with the virus. The rest of the novel follows their journey and the many startling discoveries they make along the way.

Once I started reading, this 766-page tome took firm hold of me, leaving me breathless, eyes feverishly running through the pages, unmindful of the time or place. I was up nights, late for work and ignorant of the need to eat. I was right there with Amy and Wolgost in the car, in the hospital and on the run. I was in the First Colony, with Peter and Susan and Auntie. I joined Peter, Susan, Alicia, Micheal and Mausami as they embarked on the journey to get Amy back to Colorado. I was with them as they made one startling discovery after another during their Long Walk.

Overall, The Passage is an edge-of-your-seat nail-bitingly good suspense thriller that addresses the perils of military greed and the depth of human endurance in the face of unprecedented catastrophe and unimaginable danger. It will grab you by the hand and pull you along for a rip-roaring ride, at the end of which you’ll be left gasping, waiting for 2012, and the second part of this trilogy.

Hit by an epiphany

All marriages have their ups and downs, fights and make up scenes. There have been times when I have found myself wondering why I ever got married, telling myself that I am not marriage material, and on occasion, wondering what it would be like to be free. This is not to say that I have fallen out of love with the husband, because I love him to pieces, I really do. It’s just a reflection of how hot-headed I can be, and how irrational I can get when I’m really angry.

However, while browsing through PostSecret a while back, I came upon this secret, and it made me pause and think — is it worth it to get so angry that I become totally irrational? I know that the momentary thoughts that I have are just that — because once I cool down, I realize just how much I love the husband, how much he means to me, and how well we complement one another.

Have you ever wanted out of something, only to find out that you want back in? Or did the secret above give you a sense of epiphany, the way it did to me?

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