Moving into fear

A quick face painted with acrylics

How do you deal with fear? A lot of people will tell you it’s only by moving into whatever it is that you fear that you can overcome it. But how do you move into what you fear? How do you go boldly (or not so boldly) ahead into a situation that gives you the shivers? I’ll be the first to admit that I didn’t have a clue.

Then, I took up painting. And as I tried and experimented and failed and tried again, I realized – this is how you move into fear!

You move into fear by sticking with something even when you’re scared and have no idea what the hell you’re doing. It means taking a piece you don’t like and working it until you do. And if you still don’t like it, chalking it up to experimenting and experience, and then cutting it up to use as the base of another piece, so you can reframe and redo.Continue reading→

The Word

I’m fairly new to choosing a word of the year – last year was the first time I did this exercise. My word was Transform. I mapped out the areas of my life that I wanted to change and put down some milestones against them. And then, I wasn’t quite sure how to make it work…how it would be any different from regular New Year resolutions that you make on 1 January and break by the end of the month – if they even last that long?

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{W} The Kindness Revolution: Why worry?

“People get so in the habit of worry that if you save them from drowning and put them on a bank to dry in the sun with hot chocolate and muffins they wonder whether they are catching cold.” ~ John Jay Chapman
OK, fess up! How often do you find yourself, brows furrowed, chewing your bottom lip, running through some crazy, made-up scenarios in your head? Or obsessing over something someone said to you, something that you forgot to do, or second-guessing a decision you took? At that moment, it seems like your life as you know it is over!Continue reading→

{P} The Kindness Revolution: Be Positive

Happiness is a human birthright for everyone. – The Dalai Lama

One way to be kind to ourselves is to be able to choose happiness…and the way to do that, I believe, is to choose positivity. We can focus on everything that is wrong around us – the unfairness of a colleague getting promoted ahead of you, not having “enough” friends (whatever enough means) – or we can acknowledge those things, but focus on the things that are right – having the time to do the things you love, perhaps.

If you take a few moments to think about it, you’ll realize that there probably are a whole bunch of positive emotions or experiences that you aren’t even aware of. There’s so much to be grateful for each and every day… each and every minute…your very life, each breath, each action that you take for granted – walking, talking, smelling, seeing – is a miracle.Continue reading→

{O} An ode to an ordinary life

“Buy this dress!” “Go on this holiday!” “Look at this shiny new gadget that will change your life!”

Buy these things, the advertisements tell us, and you’ll be breaking out of the ordinary.

But, what’s so bad with ordinary anyway?

Look behind those screaming advertisements. There’s a case to be made for an ordinary life. A life filled with love, laughter, companionship. A life where you have the time and energy to be present with your loved ones. Where people matter more than material objects. It’s a life filled with contentment, love, play, friends, family.Continue reading→

{M} The non-manifesto manifesto

I was introduced to the concept of a personal mission statement at a corporate training years ago. At the time, I tried really hard to come up with a mission statement for my life. I failed.

Over the years, I’ve given it a try a couple of times. I’ve always failed.

Then I came across some awesome manifestos (like my personal favorite, the Holstein manifesto). While I found some of them inspiring, I never could come up with one that was ME.

This inability to come up with a manifesto for my life has made me feel like a failure of sorts.

It took a very wise man – the husband, in fact – to show (or rather tell) me why I have always failed at it.

The reason is simple. So simple that I feel like a fool for not seeing it for myself. Continue reading→

{L} Conquer your to-do list

Have you ever created a to-do list and then wondered how you’re going to ever get all of it done? I have. More times than I can count. At the height of my insanity, I had a to-do list that was a page long. Crazy? You betcha! {And in case you’re wondering, I never did manage to cross much off that list.}

I can’t remember the number of times I’ve made a huge-ass list and then felt exhausted just looking at it! To top it all, half of the things on that list would have to be repeated in a week or two. {Yes, I included things like buy groceries before the pantry is bare, and put in the laundry before we run out of clothes to wear.} Needless to say, I just about managed to do things when ignoring them was no longer an option.

Now, though, I’m the queen of conquering to-do lists {err…when it is my queenly desire to do so}. It’s quite simple, and seeing as I am in a benevolent mood, I’ll share my inspired process with you. You’re welcome.

Step 1: Create a master list. This one is going to be huge. On it, you’ll list out everything your little heart desires to achieve. Keep adding to it; make it as long as you want. Do not look at it and panic. Move to step two.

Step 2: Create a “today list”. This one will stem from your master list. Make sure you don’t have more than 4-5 things on it. And ensure that at least 2 of them are fun things so you don’t feel like the biggest drudge on the face of the earth. You’re welcome.

Ta-da! In no time at all, you’ll be the queen of to-do lists!

Got your own to-do list inspiration to share?

{F} Finding Nemo: 4 tips to help you find yourself

“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” ― Aristotle

Growing up, I was a rather reflective, introspective kinda gal. I used to spend long hours curled up under the window with some music in the background, letting my mind wander…or writing in my journal…or just day dreaming idly.

Then, life happened. Thrust into the work place with all its associated pressures, adjusting to a life away from home, marriage, changing states, adjusting to new cultures…all of it took a toll, and that introspective girl got lost along the way.

As things settled down I took a moment to look at my life and realized I love it and am grateful for it. But at the same time, I realized that I’ve been running for so long that I’ve lost touch with … me. And so I set off on a quest to find myself. As I worked through it I gathered a lot of tools to self-discovery along the way.Continue reading→

{C} You have the power to choose

“If you choose to not deal with an issue, then you give up your right of control over the issue and it will select the path of least resistance.”
― Susan Del Gatto

Choices – we are confronted with them on a daily basis. We can choose how we spend our day, how we react to situations around us, how we spend our free time. The easiest path may be the path of least resistance. Just do what’s easiest and ignore the hard tasks. Sometimes we choose to stay numb, to shut out the thoughts and emotions that we fear, to not examine our life or relationships.

But that’s a powerless attitude – and you are not powerless! You have the power to choose to move forward, to come unstuck.Continue reading→

Forget bucket lists, try a before I die list instead

Death. It’s inevitable. But still, it’s the one topic no one wants to talk about. When we hear of tragedy, we are thankful that it didn’t happen to us. We spend a major portion of our lives convinced about our own immortality. And still, death strikes. And when it strikes close to home, it forces us to look at death head-on.

So why is death such a scary monster? Is it because we are scared of leaving those we love behind, or because we don’t know exactly how long we have left on earth? Or is it because it’s the great unknown – after all, no one’s returned from the dead (and here I’m discounting near-death experiences) to tell us exactly what happens next. Or could it be because we still have so much more that we want to do…things that we’ve been putting off for a “later” that never comes?

Maybe that explains the popularity of bucket lists. But if you’re like me and want to do so many damn things that you know one lifetime would never be enough to do them, and that leaves you paralyzed wondering where to start, this TED Talk by Candy Chang may show you the path.Continue reading→