Instructions for life

On being a rebel, a stream of consciousness prose poem + a painting from my studio

“I will participate, but not as asked.”
― Jenny Odell, How to Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention Economy

When I was in my fiery teens, my father declared me a rebel without a cause. I’ve always been contrary. If you tell me to go up, I will go down. If you tell me not to do something, you can be sure that I will go right ahead and do it. And then proudly tell you that I did it too. That fiery rebellion of my teenage years has mellowed over the years, though – I guess that’s what they call aging.

I may not be a fiery rebel, but I am still contrary. I question most things. I tend to think deeply. Sometimes, it is annoying. It would be so much easier to just go along with what everyone else is saying. With the things the world seems to value. With what everyone else is chasing. It is so much more difficult to try and swim against the tide.

And yet. I struggle and flail, but doggedly I swim on, like the salmon, away from the mainstream, in search of a landing place that feels like home. Finding fellow travelers on the path makes the journey less lonely, but I’ve also learnt that not everyone who seems to be swimming upstream are salmon – there are also some angler fish in there – cleverly disguised, but I can usually tell. Something doesn’t seem to quite fit. My hackles start to rise. And when that happens, I will forever view that person with a hint of suspicion. I’ve learnt – the hard way – not to ignore my instincts. I’ve also learnt – the hard way – not to let them know that I’ve cottoned on to their predatory tactics.

And I’ve also learnt that we cannot always be saviors. There is value in allowing other people to learn how to discern anglerfish on their own.

I have no reason to tell you any of this. If I listen to the experts, I will be informed that there is no value in this post. I’m not addressing “my audience” {Ugh. I hate that word!} I haven’t researched my keywords. It doesn’t address a need or a “pain point” {double ugh, no matter how you sugar-coat it} or teach anyone anything.

But honestly? I just don’t care about what the experts say any more. Maybe my people will find me, or maybe I’ll be doomed to internet and blogging anonymity. But in the larger scheme of things, does that really matter?

Instructions for life: a prose poem

LIVE. In the midst of the growing, questioning, becoming.

EXULT in the beauty that’s available to you in every minute – even in the difficult ones. Maybe especially then.

ACCEPT that it’s not always easy and that it doesn’t always make sense and that good does not always win over evil except in the movies and that even then, there is life to be lived and people to be loved and grace to be had.

REMEMBER, there’s beauty in the simplicity. That small and simple and quiet and personally meaningful are valid life choices. That simply witnessing the life unfolding outside your window is enough. That you don’t have to be constantly running and striving and hustling and smashing. That vitality is more important than virality.

This is YOUR life. Only you know how you want to live it. Only you know what matters to you. There is no one out there who can – or should – dictate to you how you should be living this one wild and precious life of yours.

And finally, cliched though it may be, EMBRACE it. The good, the bad, the ugly. The sorrows the joys and the tragedies. The highs the lows and the in-betweens. This one messy beautiful glorious life. Just LIVE it.

Because the only instructions for life worth following are the ones you make up for yourself.

What are your instructions for life?

Pssst: Know a friend who needs to hear these words? Press share!